I'm a Victim of Fraud!

I never thought it would happen here in Malawi, but it is possible to be a victim of fraud in Africa! the culprit - the mysterious phone tapper. Mobile phones are pretty prevalent here in Malawi. In fact, it is more likely that someone will have a mobile over a house line. So, since this is the case, and the rate is cheaper for mobile to mobile (about 8MK/minute) over land line to mobile (about 100MK/minute), I have only used my house line once. Three weeks ago, my coworker came to me with my house phone bill, which was at 6,000MK! Hot diggity! I don't even use my phone and my bill is that much! Now, I know that $42 USD might not seem like much, but it is a huge amount when your salary is only $260 USD. My finance guy said that most likely, my security guards were using my house phone because I give them my house key once a week to put my clothes inside the house when they're done drying. That explanation I can accept - I was reckless, and shouldn't give my guard the key. And because of some weird budgeting quirk, I have to pay for my phone bill, while my water bill (which is mysteriously just as large) is covered under my housing line. Then today, I opened my new phone line, and my new bill for the last month is 18,000MK! Now, I know that there is no way my security guards could have made all those calls, because I stopped giving them the key weeks ago! Holy smokes! The finance director came to the conclusion that someone has been tapping into my phone line and calling from my number. So now we're going to call the phone company, the number of the international call that was made on my line (to South Africa!) and we're going to play detectives and catch the sucker. Then we're gonna send him to the police to be squeezed!!! There is definitely no way I'm paying the 18,000MK phone bill, especially when it's half my salary!

*ps. For your information, to be "squeezed" by the police is a euphamism for "a sound beating".

* I don't condone violence in any way, so y'all know.